Making Neli Latson Matter: The Invisible Intersected Black Members of The Autism Community

I have been haunted by the case of Reginald "Neli" Latson, a victim of racism and ableism for four

Neli Latson in 2010

years.  His case has taken a grisly turn. He attempted to take his own life, barricading himself in a room of the group halfway house where his abuse had become intolerable. He is now locked in what is in essence solitary confinement (he was taken out of straight solitary and is now in isolation with suicide monitoring) in a Virginia prison.

Solitary Confinement is torture.

According to the definition of torture under 18 U.S.C. §§ 2340–2340A :

1) “torture” means an act committed by a person acting under the color of law specifically intended to inflict severe physical or mental pain or suffering (other than pain or suffering incidental to lawful sanctions) upon another person within his custody or physical control;
(2) “severe mental pain or suffering” means the prolonged mental harm caused by or resulting from
     (A) the intentional infliction or threatened infliction of severe physical pain or suffering;
     (B) the administration or application, or threatened administration or application, of mind-altering substances or other procedures calculated to disrupt profoundly the senses or the personality;
    (C) the threat of imminent death; or
    (D) the threat that another person will imminently be subjected to death, severe physical pain or suffering, or the administration or application of mind-altering substances or other procedures calculated to disrupt profoundly the senses or personality;

Any research into the effects of solitary confinement on any human being will quickly make it clear that solitary confinement, regardless of the reason it is being done, is torture.

If you are anyone who is Black in America, you know the sequence of events that results in arrests for Black males. There is no rise in social class, no degree of education, no party affiliation that can save your sons, spouses, fathers, friends, from this. It is part of the racism that we live with. It is the fear we carry. You cannot train a human being to not abuse power. You cannot foresee the hate in a person's heart. You cannot tell if a man is a bigot if you are white. Your race is not the one such a person holds in enmity.  Not three days ago I was asked to describe disparities in the way healthcare was delivered to my son when I was with him. When I described an incident, the interviewer said "are you sure it was racism?" Probably the worst thing you can ask someone like me, who lives with racism everyday, is if I am sure it was racism. In the past, when I was a younger and more patient person, I would insist that people who asked me that question simply come to a mall with me and lag behind me as I walked through stores and watch my interactions and what was done when I entered shops. The shame they felt as they watched security guards and staff follow me from aisle to aisle to insure I wasn't stealing anything was enough. Yes I am sure it was racism.

Reginald Neli Latson

Tell me how do I explain to such a person that the problem with Neli Latson is not simply "autism causing him to act out"?  How will they understand that there is a world in which the color of one's skin is enough to get an arrest record whether one commits a crime or not? How to hammer home that all of this combined with a bigot who called 911 as a "concerned citizen" saw a black man in a hoodie waiting for the public library to open and decided to lie and say they saw a gun doomed Neli before he ever encountered that school resource officer? Because I've tried. And they just can't leave the world they live in long enough to understand this one.

Their world is comfortable and safe. They don't have to do anything but mumble words of sympathy because they are so confident it won't happen to their autistic child. Why should it? They are sure their social position, income, and race keeps their children safe. They forget something very important. Neli Latson would not have come to this horrible pass had he not also been autistic. This disaster is the intersection of autism, ableism and racism colliding with the school to prison pipeline. See everyone who is poor in Black America prepares their son for that moment. They teach them the social cues and red flags. They tell them to have a way to make that phone call and an understanding that they will be harassed by police at some point.  But autism parents are told they need to teach compliance and concrete ideas about police to their autistic children. It gives autism parents a false sense of security about their teens encountering police.

 Every autism parent who  secretly thinks a police training course,  safety movie,  who they know,  their race or wealth will keep this from happening to their child can think again. Ableism is as obvious in this case as racism. Neli was a popular student,  well known in the area and that is why he was able to walk to the library alone without prior incident. But the person who called 911 that day was tired of seeing the Black autistic kid waiting for the library to open. Black and neurodivergent was just too different for tolerance. The fact that to this day, the caller's identity is hidden is very damning.

Neli did not understand the intersection of racism and abuse of power. He understood the rules of police engagement and was taught that everyone had rights under the law. That of course does not leave room for how to react when racism places a black body in jeopardy. No one told him that Black males are routinely harassed by police and if the officer doesn't like the look of them, they will arrest them on any excuse. Neli wasn't taught what to do if the police should continue to escalate or try to incite an act that might result in an arrest. He was not told to remain passive even if insulted, beaten or arrested even if he had done nothing wrong. He reacted as he did in high school wrestling matches when set upon. This reaction destroyed his life.

For four years, I have felt like I've been in a nightmare where I scream and people see my mouth move but no sound is heard. No matter what I did or do, no one sees or hears Neli.  Neli's former attorney was ignorant of autism so the defense was a disaster as it in fact supported the case that autism makes Neli dangerous.  The Washington Post at one point flipped its initial  and recent balanced coverage of the case to support this incorrect perspective of the "dark side of autism" complete with parent interviews.  The presentation of the unfortunate defense case opened the way to a 25 year sentence. Autism organizations used Neli's case as a cautionary tale of the evils of not using  early intervention where "therapy" means compliance training through ABA and then promoted their own first responder training materials.

I have been unable to make all of this injustice felt to organizations, advocates, and activists. They don't get that arrests for no reason, stop and frisks, and any number of incidents are regular issues that those who are Black and poor learn to prepare for, but when one is Black and neurodivergent, may not be able to process, even with parental help. Add to this something else well known in services circles and you have Neli's recipe for disaster. Parents are told the dirty little secret to getting a rapid placement for your autistic adult child who has aged out of the education support system in times when no available placements exist is to document proof that the young adult is a danger to himself and others. "Call the police", they tell parents. Have documented proof they need immediate placement and social services will have to step in.

I have been unable to stem that tide. Parents do this never thinking that in their rush to get this large autistic adult off their hands they may be setting that person up for a lifetime of suffering. In the end that is what happened to Neli. He ended up having a prior incident, as happens with many young autistic males growing up, where police were called and should not have been called. Then the catastrophic encounter with a school resource officer when all he wanted was to go to the library. He was Black. He was wearing a hoodie. He did not know the script for reacting to racism in an authority figure who could incarcerate him. He does not know what is happening to him now.

As I have written before, great demands are placed on those of us who are Black activists for content, supporting presentations, speaking out about racism, intersectionality and ethnicity by organizations and groups, but when our disabled loved ones are in desperate need of help they are silent and absent. Neli needs help now. If I have been a good ally to cross disability causes and other marginalized groups I expect that when one of us is the victim of injustice allies will step up for them. If they don't that tells me that they won't be there for my family either. When we activists of color step away from organizations, communities and groups where others feel we are underrepresented, those stakeholders should look in the mirror. Neli Latson could be my son or anyone's son. Not helping him is akin to turning your back on all Black disabled children, adults, and their families.

The Autistic Self Advocacy Network decided to step up and try to help Neli. You can read about their efforts here. They are one of the very few autism or disability rights organizations that seems to give a damn. So many disability rights advocacy organizations are filled with attorneys who won't touch this. Shame on them! They have no right to call themselves advocates of the disabled if they turn their noses up at defending Neli. It makes them part of the systemic erasure of intersected Black disabled males who are victims of a criminal justice industrial complex they cannot avoid or be free from without help. What do these people do? I see them hobnobbing with congressmen and senators. In the meantime God knows how many Neli's are deteriorating in prisons across this country. Isn't it time disability rights advocacy organizations and advocates join with organizations like Solitary Watch and add  ending solitary confinement, humane conditions and therapeutic supports for neurodivergent prisoners to their diversity related national agendas? Shouldn't their attorneys be fighting for this? No organization can insist they represent us or our children unless they address this urgently. 

Anyone who isn't making an effort to help Neli does not speak for of Black disabled people or their families. That is my position. Wonder why I don't respect your organization? That is why.  When you make Neli and so many others like him matter, you'll matter to me. Otherwise, lose my email address and don't put your hand out for my money every December and my voice, support, and content year round.

#FreeNeli

On The Pros and Cons of Public Disclosure Of Private Information By Morénike Onaiwu

I saw a post online that motivated me to write this. A lot of my thoughts are largely derived from a statement I drafted last year in a private group.

I'm writing today to share some food for thought for those families who are considering the pros and cons of whether or not to publicly disclose intimate details about a minor child, such as issues related to personal hygiene, "aggressive" behavior, sexual orientation, HIV status, sensitive matters about an adopted or foster child's family of origin, etc.

This whole disclosure thing has been discussed many times. There are many different ways to handle different situations. However, I need to speak up about this today. Because "different" does not equal bad. And it sure as heck does not equal SHAME.

My family has made our personal choices. WITH OUR CHILDREN'S BLESSINGS we disclose SOME things publicly about ourselves, while others remain more private matters. In some areas, we have told family, all close friends, and have disclosed to others, i.e. some acquaintances and classmates, on a "need to know" basis; in others, only family is aware. And that's okay. We are living proof that you can exist--and thrive--somewhere between public disclosure and selective disclosure, as we have done for nearly a decade.

Every family is different, and what works for family A won't work for family B. It's important that I say that, because I truly believe that. But I also have to note that even though it is *said* by many, including publicly disclosing families, that "either choice" (openly/publicly disclosing, or not) are *equally* good choices, it seems pretty evident to me that it's not universally viewed that way.

People who are public are lauded as heroes, and it is implied AND SOMETIMES explicitly stated that those who aren't public in the same way that they are are fearful, secretive, or ashamed.

And I'm sorry, but that's bull stuff. For my family, we don't in any way live a shameful, secretive double life.

Despite the fact that we are not public about every aspect of our lives, we live a fulfilling, shame-free life as a proud multicultural, multinational, neuro-diverse, adoptive, HIV affected family of color. We don't lie nor ask members of our family to lie about anything related to our circumstances. We have never hidden the truth from our children, and and speak openly with and in front of them about many related matters.

Our children are well-informed, confident, supported, secure, and loved. Few other 10 and 12 year olds can tell you as much as mine can about stimming, echolalia, sensory issues, HIV transmission methods, different classes of HIV meds, adherence, opportunistic infections, treatment as prevention, etc.

There is nothing wrong with publicly disclosing families. I have the utmost respect for what you are doing. However, I'm freakin' tired of many of you throwing those of us who (for good reason) have made different choices than you under the bus!!!!

It is fully possible to work diligently to dispel stigma, increase awareness, and promote acceptance without publicly disclosing sensitive details about a minor child. There are many ways to be an advocate--even a public advocate--that do not require such disclosure.

You can be public. But I still think you should consider exercising some decorum. I don't believe that the world needs to know that your child's birth mom was a meth addict. I don't think the world needs to watch a YouTube clip of your autistic child having a meltdown. I don't think the world needs to know that your teen smears feces. I don't think the world needs to know that your internationally adopted 3 year old child Kalkidan Morgan who lives in Anytown USA is HIV+, complete with full name, pic, address, city, etc. (Edited to add this: I am not hating on public HIV adoptive families, but some [NOT ALL] need to re-assess their method and their motives.)

As an advocate myself, I totally get the desire to get involved in community affairs. But I'm a mom first. That will ALWAYS come before my advocacy. And as a mom, in conjunction with my family I have made a decision regarding disclosure that works for us--selective disclosure rather than public disclosure. It might not work for YOU, but it works for US; SHAME ON ANYONE WHO SAYS THAT WE ARE LIVING IN SHAME.

This is super long, but the main point is that there is a need for public families, and we have all learned from them. For some of you, those who have been public were an influencing factor in helping others. And that's a blessing.

But keep in mind that the water's fine on the other side. I'm not just saying "it's fine" when it's not truly. I mean it's really fine. It's not only okay to not be public, for some families it is the better choice. Period. Please think about these things and consider all factors and all sides of this. Don't just follow the status quo.

And by the way...

If you don't like what I have to say, please unfriend me. I'm not interested in a back and forth about this. If we can't respectfully disagree, then we can't respectfully be "friends."

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Morénike Giwa Onaiwui is the founder of the former Positive Playdates, a playdate group (now merged with a local nonprofit) that connected HIV affected families and refugee youth, and of the newly launched Advocacy Without Borders, an initiative to reduce disparities through education, community advocacy and self-empowerment. Additionally, Morénike is currently involved in a variety of leadership efforts related to Ryan White Part D advocacy, namely the "Save Ryan White Part D!" Initiative. See her complete biography here.

On Murder of Jordan Davis By Michael Dunn

Apparently no one reads what I write.

 Let me explain. Recently, deeply wounded by the verdict in the trial of Michael Dunn for the murder of Jordan Davis, I posted a status on my facebook page.

I said in part: "I get daily demands as an activist. That I be a good ally to other causes. That I contribute my intellectual property, my loyalty, my time, my son's time, my family's time effort and money. Even now. Even now I'm being asked, even pressured to support things. That shows a deep lack of caring and understanding for what just happened."

I presumed, foolishly, that my colleagues might understand that this might not be an appropriate time to demand my intellectual property, my loyalty, my time, etc. It might be a good time to be an ally and go to their respective organizations and ask that they release a statement supporting justice for Jordan Davis and dismay at the human rights record in Florida when it comes to Black children. It might be a good time to mention what each social justice organization has done to fight hate crimes directed at one race. It is not a good time to ask me for even more as an activist while ignoring that there is a pattern of violence going on that perpetrators are not being held accountable for. Activists cannot make demands of me as their ally and fellow activist and do nothing about the clear and present injustice to my people before them. Yet organizations in disability rights advocacy, who want to serve and be increasingly inclusive of minority members, are silent. I will defend my son's right to self determination. But I must now wonder how I can possibly work for organizations that are not reaching out to our social justice organizations and asking how they can show a united front against this deadly trend. Because this trend, when intersected with my son's nonspeaking autism, means an even higher chance that he will become the next Stephon Watts or Jordan Davis. So this issue is something that directly affects the Black members of any disabled population and should therefore be addressed by the disability rights community in general and all autism nonprofits in particular.

What is it about facing the truth that racism is alive and well in our nation today that makes everyone who is not a person of color squirm? How many more murders will go unpunished before we look at our national reflection in the moral mirror and deal with the festering canker of discrimination oozing hatred in every corner of our country? When racist people wish to commit a hate crime these days, they have more sense than to grab Black boys off the street and lynch them. Today's mob lynching is creating any excuse to shoot them, then turning yourself in and getting away with it. Make no mistake, what happened to Jordan Davis and his three young friends was a deliberate hate crime. Swallow that bitter pill. Choke that down, and ask what can be done to turn the tide of hate.

We cannot deflect the issue of violence directed at the male members of one race by making it something else. This is not a matter of gun control. Guns are the instruments of violence alone. It is not the abuse of the Stand Your Ground law. Quite clearly approaching a car and trying to incite a reason to shoot at the teenaged passengers in it is not standing one's ground. Arguing about the volume of music in a public gas station is not standing your ground. So this is not about whether a person has a right to defend their home or personal safety by using deadly force against trespassers. This is about racism. Bigotry against Blacks in general and young Black males in particular. So please, don't begin the standard talking points on gun control and stand your ground statutes. It adds insult to tragedy.

Dear disability rights nonprofits, activists, and everyone else. Have you reached out to your Black constituents? Have you publicly expressed your outrage? Are you silent now? Because if you are, you are sending a message that Black lives are irrelevant.  You are erasing my son's life and my life as well.

Do not then wonder why Black activists are not more involved with your causes.